I dreamt that i was in a rush but i take my baby and i smile him and he smile at me and i kiss him and touch and i can feel the skin.
My mum is taking us in the car to shopping or somewhere when i realized i need to change him and my mother helped me to find a place where i can do it.We just walk into a house like if was ours and is a women in the shower who seems surprice but not afraid .She welcoming us because she knows us.I am changing him like if i have been doing it for ages and even the baby is too small to speak ,when i put him a jumper he says"itchy" i ask him is itchy? and he says yes with the head.
Then i woke up wishing i could carry on dreaming.
The woman in the house was the dressmaker of my mom. When i was little i used to go with her to the dressmaker s house to be messure and talk about the designe of the dress, Sometimes the dress was for me and i need to be messure too.
Everyday i have more regret feelings, this time my ex partner is far of the map so i just imagine me and the baby and i forget why i decided what i decided .So i tried to remember why i decided and calm myself but the pain still anyway.
I supposed to be feeeling a baby inside of me right now but i decided what i decided and is done , nobody can back on time.
