Waiting for"the nothing"

I asked him to come because i need of him, i need a support because i was passing through a bad time,he was indiferent of my situation and never had time for me.
I was alone and  his excuses were  fulling my head.i was missing him but he didnt , i started to feel more empty and finally he desapeared.

I feel the same but, now, greatfull, that he will be happier and i will be  freedom of waitting for "the nothing".

Again and again, is allways the same.Nobody fights next to me,and during my fight i allways win.